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Ok, so this isn't particularly for anyone to read, it's just for me to vent and write down my feelings so I don't go mad!!

I went to the Hospital yesterday, was supposed to see my surgeon, but I ended up seeing some other doctor.  He said to let it heal then they will decide what to do.  It's ok for him to say that, but he doesn't realise how bad my life actually is. 

It has been ruined by this horrible illness which people do not seem to understand or care about. 

I've lost most of my friends because i've been so depressed.  Yeah i've cut them out, but that's understandable to me.  Who wants to hear about how great everyone's life is when mine is so bad, and so bad that I can't even begin to really explain?

I just wish that people really understood. 

I feel like i'm being left behind. 

Last night I cried so much that I thought I might never stop.  I honestly felt like if this is al my life is going to amount to then i'd rather not be here.  BUT I would NEVER do anything that stupid, I know what it would do to my family.  I'm going to fight this and i'm going to MAKE someone take notice.  I've got my whole life to live

In Health